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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Change! What a scary thought...word ...thing!!!! I have difficult with it...in any aspect of my life...good ...bad....neither. I can go as far as having anxiety attacks, especially if I feel like I am losing control of my life. I was thinking about a friend today, who will remain anonymous... but you know who you are, and how much they have changed in the last 6 months. It is actually quite upsetting. They were a much light hearted..not so stiff and with out a shrink hat type of person.The tone, the seriousness in their voice and emails now....just sounds sad. They are always analyzing and explaining things now instead of joking and laughing. Communication is always so serious, it is hard to talk to them anymore. They said I was not the only one who has approached them on this same subject. I think I am slowly losing my friend due to this change, that is very unfortunate and saddens me.

When I asked them to tell me one thing that made them smile or laugh today, they couldn't answer me, they had no answer. To me that is sad. They said that they don't smile or laugh at just one thing but many different things but couldn't remember just one moment that stood out. It is the little things in life that are the most valuable to me. I remember what me made me smile today. Nicky......he is getting braver and braver with his creeping around. He creeps around our kitchen cabinets and he thinks he is just the little man!!! Grunting and smiling...laughing at himself....you can't help but smile or laugh with him! He is changing so much...and that scares me...but makes me so proud of him. When I think a year ago...he was still in the NICU.....I welcome this change.

What made you smile or laugh today?

10:26 PM
1 comments


Tammy.